When I asked her what I should blog about tonight, Maria told me I should write about the holidays because “all the bloggers seem to be doing it.” So with that advice in mind, I’m going to talk a little bit about home.
I’m home, right now. On a trundle-bed, which is different. It’s tilted on one side, so I always wake up just about to fall off the bed. Lydia is going to move in Friday night when she gets home (happy birthday, by the way!), which means that the already messy roomy is going to be a pit. Seriously there is so much crap in here. But there’s so much good, too. There’s stacks of books and notebooks and piles of pens and pencils and empty mugs with little tea bag tags dangling out of them. It feels like there are ideas and thoughts just floating around, barely out of reach, and if you stretched far enough, you’d be able to grab one and run with it.
There’s something peaceful about routine. “Okay, yeah duh,” I hear you say. Fine. I think of when change happens, when I’m put in a new situation, in a new environment where I don’t have my bearings yet. My solution? Make my bed. Camp, school, a friend’s house, staff retreats, hotels; For me, there’s something grounding about putting a sheet on, laying down a pillow, and spreading a blanket, that helps me feel at peace. It’s the first step to setting down roots, I guess. It gives my hands something to do while my brain freaks out.
At Camp, my true home, I have to make my bed. It’s a natural motion that gets me moving and thinking and remembering that “yes, I want to be here. No, I’m not going to back out.” Those crazy little butterflies in my stomach take a break for a minute and then by the time I’ve finished, someone new has joined or an old friend has come in whooping and screaming (no exaggeration.)
I guess… I don’t know. Home looks different at different points of our lives. Even the same building grows memories and develops quality as time goes by. I feel sometimes like I have to make my bed over and over again, and it gets kind of tiresome. But at the same time, it’s an adventure. And not just in the blanket fort and pillow fights way.